Judith is not the father...
and the CHUM heard her
Because there is more than one family model, the identification cards hung on the cribs of newborns at the CHUM will change. A small step forward, yes, but one that means a lot to Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and Judith Séguin, new mothers. Here is the story,
marked by listening and respect.
Host and columnist Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and her wife, Judith Séguin, welcomed their first child, Miro, in early May. The nurses who accompanied them showed "supreme kindness" throughout the delivery, which was not easy.
The couple wants to make it clear from the outset.
Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and Judith Séguin's first steps in the world of parenthood were nevertheless strewn with little twinges in the heart. Eugénie and Judith – like many other couples from diverse backgrounds – realized how heteronormative the forms in Quebec are, more than 20 years after the legal recognition of same-sex parenting. At the fertility clinic, in a children's hospital, in the vaccination record...
Even on the identification card hanging on their child's crib at the CHUM, it was written "mother: Eugénie, father: Judith."
It was after four intense days at the CHUM, we were a little tired too, but it was our first interaction as a family. It made me feel a twinge of sadness, especially for Miro.
Judith Séguin, during a videoconference Friday
On May 17, the International Day Against Transphobia and Homophobia, Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau took to social media to denounce the microaggressions and major assaults that are still perpetrated against communities here and elsewhere. In several countries, she recalled, her family would not have the right to exist. While highlighting the exceptional welcome from the CHUM team, Eugénie evoked Miro's cradle etiquette and the comment of a nurse who told Judith that she was going to have to "adopt" Miro
(before informing herself and correcting the situation).
"To be honest, I didn't intend to be a whistleblower; on the contrary, it was a militant intention, as it is every year," explains Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau, 34. She wanted to talk about the progress that still needs to be made. These forms send an opt-out message that has created discomfort for new moms. And made them sad, too.
Moving forwardEugenie's Instagram post caused a stir (several parents shared similar experiences in other hospitals)... and it ended up being brought to the attention of Nadège Staco, until recently head nurse at the CHUM's birthing centre (she has just been appointed interim coordinator). "At the time, it hurt me so much to know that one of my patients had experienced this," saysMs. Staco, who was present at the videoconference.
Inclusion is dear to him. His team is trying to change the name given to the CHUM's birthing centre – the Mother-Child Unit – which excludes fathers and non-binary people from the outset. Recently, the CHUM team also met with a non-binary person, before giving birth, to find out about her needs. "For the baby cardboard, it completely escaped me," says Nadège Staco, who also became aware of the gendered colors of the boxes – blue for boys, pink for girls.
There's enough stress when you become a parent. Let's try to soothe this stress as best we can.
Nadège Staco, Interim Coordinator at the CHUM Birthing Centre
Nadège Staco called Eugénie and Judith on Thursday to tell them that they had been heard and listened to. She juggles two options: remove the cardboard (which is no longer really useful in this post-nursery era) or make it more inclusive, by writing "parents" instead of father and mother. Eugénie offers a neutral cardboard, which could be filled by hand.
In the current context, where we are seeing a release of hateful and ignorant speech towards LGBTQ+ communities, "are you afraid of the repercussions of your decision?" asks Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau to Nadège Staco. "There will always be derogatory comments, but that doesn't stop me from moving forward," says Nadège Staco, who also wants to bring the managers of the
other birth hospitals to the table at a future meeting.
PROGRESS, BUT...
It was in 2002 that same-sex families obtained legal recognition in Quebec, and since then, the Coalition of LGBT+ Families has been calling for forms to reflect these changes enshrined in the Civil Code. "We appreciate the gestures of inclusion," says the organization's co-director, Mona Greenbaum, who points out that other hospitals and school boards have done so in the past. But according to her, the watchword must come from above. "We need a clear directive from the government so that each public institution has the legal duty to adapt its forms to correspond to same-sex families and also to the fact that non-binary people are recognized in the Civil Code," she says. A few years ago, Minister Sonia LeBel told him that there were 35,000 forms in Quebec that needed to be adapted.
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marked by listening and respect.
Host and columnist Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and her wife, Judith Séguin, welcomed their first child, Miro, in early May. The nurses who accompanied them showed "supreme kindness" throughout the delivery, which was not easy.
The couple wants to make it clear from the outset.
Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau and Judith Séguin's first steps in the world of parenthood were nevertheless strewn with little twinges in the heart. Eugénie and Judith – like many other couples from diverse backgrounds – realized how heteronormative the forms in Quebec are, more than 20 years after the legal recognition of same-sex parenting. At the fertility clinic, in a children's hospital, in the vaccination record...
Even on the identification card hanging on their child's crib at the CHUM, it was written "mother: Eugénie, father: Judith."
It was after four intense days at the CHUM, we were a little tired too, but it was our first interaction as a family. It made me feel a twinge of sadness, especially for Miro.
Judith Séguin, during a videoconference Friday
On May 17, the International Day Against Transphobia and Homophobia, Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau took to social media to denounce the microaggressions and major assaults that are still perpetrated against communities here and elsewhere. In several countries, she recalled, her family would not have the right to exist. While highlighting the exceptional welcome from the CHUM team, Eugénie evoked Miro's cradle etiquette and the comment of a nurse who told Judith that she was going to have to "adopt" Miro
(before informing herself and correcting the situation).
"To be honest, I didn't intend to be a whistleblower; on the contrary, it was a militant intention, as it is every year," explains Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau, 34. She wanted to talk about the progress that still needs to be made. These forms send an opt-out message that has created discomfort for new moms. And made them sad, too.
Moving forwardEugenie's Instagram post caused a stir (several parents shared similar experiences in other hospitals)... and it ended up being brought to the attention of Nadège Staco, until recently head nurse at the CHUM's birthing centre (she has just been appointed interim coordinator). "At the time, it hurt me so much to know that one of my patients had experienced this," saysMs. Staco, who was present at the videoconference.
Inclusion is dear to him. His team is trying to change the name given to the CHUM's birthing centre – the Mother-Child Unit – which excludes fathers and non-binary people from the outset. Recently, the CHUM team also met with a non-binary person, before giving birth, to find out about her needs. "For the baby cardboard, it completely escaped me," says Nadège Staco, who also became aware of the gendered colors of the boxes – blue for boys, pink for girls.
There's enough stress when you become a parent. Let's try to soothe this stress as best we can.
Nadège Staco, Interim Coordinator at the CHUM Birthing Centre
Nadège Staco called Eugénie and Judith on Thursday to tell them that they had been heard and listened to. She juggles two options: remove the cardboard (which is no longer really useful in this post-nursery era) or make it more inclusive, by writing "parents" instead of father and mother. Eugénie offers a neutral cardboard, which could be filled by hand.
In the current context, where we are seeing a release of hateful and ignorant speech towards LGBTQ+ communities, "are you afraid of the repercussions of your decision?" asks Eugénie Lépine-Blondeau to Nadège Staco. "There will always be derogatory comments, but that doesn't stop me from moving forward," says Nadège Staco, who also wants to bring the managers of the
other birth hospitals to the table at a future meeting.
PROGRESS, BUT...
It was in 2002 that same-sex families obtained legal recognition in Quebec, and since then, the Coalition of LGBT+ Families has been calling for forms to reflect these changes enshrined in the Civil Code. "We appreciate the gestures of inclusion," says the organization's co-director, Mona Greenbaum, who points out that other hospitals and school boards have done so in the past. But according to her, the watchword must come from above. "We need a clear directive from the government so that each public institution has the legal duty to adapt its forms to correspond to same-sex families and also to the fact that non-binary people are recognized in the Civil Code," she says. A few years ago, Minister Sonia LeBel told him that there were 35,000 forms in Quebec that needed to be adapted.
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- 0,6 %
According to the 2021 census, among couples with children in Quebec, 5240 are of the same gender, transgender or non-binary, or 0.6% of the total. The Coalition of LGBT+ Families estimates that about 50,000 children in Quebec live in a same-sex family.